Author Topic: Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women  (Read 5123 times)


  • Offline bear

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Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #1 on: March 24, 2006, 16:02:42 PM
I have read a similar one in swedish :) but the in anger
thrown crescent wrench did not hit a trophy instead it hit
"miss december in bikini"

  • Offline Madrocker

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Re:Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #2 on: March 24, 2006, 16:04:04 PM
lol.

It sould read "drive into ground and blame it on faulty parts".
M3ta7h3ad "You've been blessed with a keyboard with every vowel and consonant in the english language... yet you type like a fool".

  • Offline Serious

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Re:Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #3 on: March 24, 2006, 17:53:44 PM
Im wondering how she managed to get a guarage to change the oil for $20... :?:  ;)  :wink:

  • Offline Chris

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Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #4 on: March 24, 2006, 18:58:04 PM
my oil changes seem to go more like:

1)Jack up car with crappy scissor jack

2)look for 19mm ring spanner.

3)realise i dont own a 19mm ring spanner.  Get adjustable spanner out.

4)tug on sump nut with adjustable spanner.  Slip off, curse loudly.

5)tug on sump nut again, smile as it begins to move.

6)realise with horror that the sump nut is indeed moving, along with the rest of the car as it rolls off of the jack - i left the car in neutral with the handbrake off.

7)brace for impact, life flashes before eyes.

8 )wriggle out from underneath fibreglass sump guard and free my legs from between bumper and road.  Sit on MSN for a few minutes bitching to my brother about how tightly he did up the sump nut.

9)put tools away, apply handbrake, have shower to clean the road rash and dirt from the sump-guard off my face.

10)Wait till next day.  Go to halfords, purchase ring spanner set, 2 tonne trolley jack and axel stands.

11)return home.  jack up car. place on stands.

12)get out nice new 19mm ring spanner.  tug on sump nut.

13) slip off. curse.

14) brace feet against kerb. tug on sump nut.  Loosen it off.

15) place oil pan underneath sump.  Gingerly undo nut.

16) skillfully remove nut without getting scalding oil on me.

17) wait for oil to slow to a trickle.  Look at filter.  Say "Hmmmm" a lot.

18 ) realise i dont own an oil filter wrench.  Decide to hammer screwdriver through it.

19) realise i dont own a hammer.

20) wash old filter of old grime.  eventually get a good grip on it and take it off with bare hands.

21) fill new filter with new oil.  fix to car hand tight.

22) remove oil pan, re-fit sump nut.

23) fill with 5 W 30 fully synthetic oil (BOGOF at halfrauds)

24) put car on ground, pour old oil into empty milk bottle and hide in garbage.

25) clean up tools and myself

26) hope nobody notices oily patch in road.

27) jobs a goodun.


The above is a true story...

http://forums.roybacer.net/index.php?showtopic=2682&hl

(link contains swears).

  • Offline Serious

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Re:Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #5 on: March 24, 2006, 19:13:40 PM
but all good fun Chris :D

I edited your post cause the forums were changing the 8 ) and 18 ) into 8) and 18). Just added a couple of spaces though ;)

Re:Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #6 on: March 24, 2006, 19:17:20 PM
Quote from: Serious
Im wondering how she managed to get a guarage to change the oil for $20... :?:  ;)  :wink:


She pays them.

These days its more like $25. At one of the chain oil lube joints.

Do it yourself: 4L @ $2.50/L + $5/filter=$15+PITA.

They make a few bucks then try to sell you things like vital engine flushes.

Attendant: You know that youre shortening the life of your engine if you dont get a "flush"?
Max: Do you tell that bullsh*t to everybody, did I look especially stupid?

Its a big scam. The "flush" does nothing but make them $100.

I had a guy want to charge me $$$ to replace my "pulley bearings" when I asked him to tighten my alternator belt while he had it up on the rack.

Most mechanics are scum of the earth imho. :mrgreen:

  • Offline Chris

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Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #7 on: March 24, 2006, 21:44:15 PM
I want invision board back :lol:

Re:Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #8 on: March 24, 2006, 21:50:56 PM
lol @ chris i think that is how my first oil change went pretty much, amazing how having the right tools helps :P

i think i had to get a garage to tow my car to them after i tried the breaks for the first time iirc

you gotta try these things tho :?

  • Offline Mark

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Re:Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #9 on: March 24, 2006, 22:10:33 PM
Oil changes for me are thankfully a 2 minute job thanks to the 2-post lift !

Re:Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #10 on: March 28, 2006, 00:40:10 AM
My oil changes are the easiest, Ive got a small hole in the sump, so as soon as the MFD complains, I put some more oil in.

Always fresh oil :D

Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women
Reply #11 on: March 28, 2006, 00:49:04 AM
I remember being a little kid helping my dad do oil changes... wed save all the oil that we got out and stick it in our lorry, no matter how much was already in it :)


tho it was the same lorry that needed a newspaper on fire in the air intake to get it going on a cold morning lol ;)

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