Chat > Sports, Hobbies & Motors

Changing Oil - Men -vs- Women

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maximusotter:
http://tonyrogers.com/humor/changing_oil.htm

bear:
I have read a similar one in swedish :) but the in anger
thrown crescent wrench did not hit a trophy instead it hit
"miss december in bikini"

Madrocker:
lol.

It sould read "drive into ground and blame it on faulty parts".

Serious:
Im wondering how she managed to get a guarage to change the oil for $20... :?:  ;)  :wink:

Chris:
my oil changes seem to go more like:

1)Jack up car with crappy scissor jack

2)look for 19mm ring spanner.

3)realise i dont own a 19mm ring spanner.  Get adjustable spanner out.

4)tug on sump nut with adjustable spanner.  Slip off, curse loudly.

5)tug on sump nut again, smile as it begins to move.

6)realise with horror that the sump nut is indeed moving, along with the rest of the car as it rolls off of the jack - i left the car in neutral with the handbrake off.

7)brace for impact, life flashes before eyes.

8 )wriggle out from underneath fibreglass sump guard and free my legs from between bumper and road.  Sit on MSN for a few minutes bitching to my brother about how tightly he did up the sump nut.

9)put tools away, apply handbrake, have shower to clean the road rash and dirt from the sump-guard off my face.

10)Wait till next day.  Go to halfords, purchase ring spanner set, 2 tonne trolley jack and axel stands.

11)return home.  jack up car. place on stands.

12)get out nice new 19mm ring spanner.  tug on sump nut.

13) slip off. curse.

14) brace feet against kerb. tug on sump nut.  Loosen it off.

15) place oil pan underneath sump.  Gingerly undo nut.

16) skillfully remove nut without getting scalding oil on me.

17) wait for oil to slow to a trickle.  Look at filter.  Say "Hmmmm" a lot.

18 ) realise i dont own an oil filter wrench.  Decide to hammer screwdriver through it.

19) realise i dont own a hammer.

20) wash old filter of old grime.  eventually get a good grip on it and take it off with bare hands.

21) fill new filter with new oil.  fix to car hand tight.

22) remove oil pan, re-fit sump nut.

23) fill with 5 W 30 fully synthetic oil (BOGOF at halfrauds)

24) put car on ground, pour old oil into empty milk bottle and hide in garbage.

25) clean up tools and myself

26) hope nobody notices oily patch in road.

27) jobs a goodun.


The above is a true story...

http://forums.roybacer.net/index.php?showtopic=2682&hl

(link contains swears).

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