Voice part has improved quite a bit, less faltering, just needs work to get it to hit the right notes
Not so fussed on the overdriven guitar... just seems like it belongs in a rock song not a ballad.
Sounds like an eels song, but you need to just have a cleaner singer
no offense Will
fairly normalish lyrics (to be expected... for this type of song
) the guitar needs working on I think, seems a bit.. er bitty
but I think your more of a writer than a performer.
Also you finish with an imperfect cadence yet about 10 seconds before it you pause after a perfect cadence...
Songs are really meant to sound better with perfect cadence at the end unless your going for something completely abstract.
you can go perfect-imperfect-perfect to build up to an ending though