I could write about my hospital shower...

the day before I got out of hospital (I didn't know I was getting out the next day) I realised I had pretty bad B.O.

a nurse came along each day with a little dish of water to get washed in, but wtf can you do with a dish of water while you're in bed, I did my best but it wasn't great

in bed with nothing to do... I had a brainwave and asked the nurse if they had a disabled shower with a seat in it, I could get out of bed and walk a bit, just couldn't go far or stand still for long (balance messed up)

so a nurse helped me out of bed and held my arm while I walked to the shower, the shower was in a little wet room with a fold down seat, perfect for me I sat on the seat.   nurse offered to help me get my boxers off but I'd already thought of that and left them on, figuring I could just put a clean/dry pair on when I was done instead of flashing the nurses

sitting quite happy on the little seat, nurse goes out of the room, I'm looking at the controls and getting settled when I started to feel a bit rough... sat there for about a min and realised something was wrong so pulled the alarm string thing

next thing I know I'm on the floor with a nurse holding me head and telling me to breath slow, I'm hyperventilating like crazy and there's about 4 nurses in the shower with me, takes me a min to breath properly and work out whats going on, realise I'd passed out on the seat and hit the floor

feel fine, just shaken up, no big deal no real damage done, a nurse comes in with a wheelchair... but it's not a proper wheel chair, its like some sort of toiler chair with a cardboard bowl where your arse goes

and then the smell hit me, it stinks of sh*t, wtf are they doing, why have they got me a smelly sh*t chair ?

still a bit groggy so don't really think about it, they help me up and I sit in the chair

then I look where I was on the floor... there was sh*t EVERYWHERE... I'd sh*t myself, and spread it around... I look at the plastic bad on my right hand (to stop broken wrist plaster getting wet) and it's covered in sh*t too, shower is like some sh*t cave painting made out of sh*t.   the smell wasn't the chair, it was me

wheel chair back to my room anf there's already a plastic sheet on my bed, they try to help me but embarrassed as hell I tell them I'm fine

5 min later a male nurse comes in, I've got a packet of wet wipes but they're not doing anything, my right wrist is broken and my left arm doesen;t work properly there's a pair of sh*t covered boxers and a pile of sh*t covered wet wipes on the floor.  he took me off to a different shower and had to help me shower... I did my own balls but he had to do everything else

I decided to never tell anyone about that... but I've told practically everyone I know

I could write about my hospital shower...

the day before I got out of hospital (I didn't know I was getting out the next day) I realised I had pretty bad B.O.

a nurse came along each day with a little dish of water to get washed in, but wtf can you do with a dish of water while you're in bed, I did my best but it wasn't great

in bed with nothing to do... I had a brainwave and asked the nurse if they had a disabled shower with a seat in it, I could get out of bed and walk a bit, just couldn't go far or stand still for long (balance messed up)

so a nurse helped me out of bed and held my arm while I walked to the shower, the shower was in a little wet room with a fold down seat, perfect for me I sat on the seat.   nurse offered to help me get my boxers off but I'd already thought of that and left them on, figuring I could just put a clean/dry pair on when I was done instead of flashing the nurses

sitting quite happy on the little seat, nurse goes out of the room, I'm looking at the controls and getting settled when I started to feel a bit rough... sat there for about a min and realised something was wrong so pulled the alarm string thing

next thing I know I'm on the floor with a nurse holding me head and telling me to breath slow, I'm hyperventilating like crazy and there's about 4 nurses in the shower with me, takes me a min to breath properly and work out whats going on, realise I'd passed out on the seat and hit the floor

feel fine, just shaken up, no big deal no real damage done, a nurse comes in with a wheelchair... but it's not a proper wheel chair, its like some sort of toiler chair with a cardboard bowl where your arse goes

and then the smell hit me, it stinks of sh*t, wtf are they doing, why have they got me a smelly sh*t chair ?

still a bit groggy so don't really think about it, they help me up and I sit in the chair

then I look where I was on the floor... there was sh*t EVERYWHERE... I'd sh*t myself, and spread it around... I look at the plastic bad on my right hand (to stop broken wrist plaster getting wet) and it's covered in sh*t too, shower is like some sh*t cave painting made out of sh*t.   the smell wasn't the chair, it was me

wheel chair back to my room anf there's already a plastic sheet on my bed, they try to help me but embarrassed as hell I tell them I'm fine

5 min later a male nurse comes in, I've got a packet of wet wipes but they're not doing anything, my right wrist is broken and my left arm doesen;t work properly there's a pair of sh*t covered boxers and a pile of sh*t covered wet wipes on the floor.  he took me off to a different shower and had to help me shower... I did my own balls but he had to do everything else

I decided to never tell anyone about that... but I've told practically everyone I know