An early christmas story
Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
Ive busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those a - - oles from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that aint funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little sh-- ts
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yos--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - Im IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
Im quitting this job theres just no enjoyment
Ill sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
Theres no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. Im going SOUTH for the season
