Tekforums
Chat => General Discussion => Topic started by: bear on March 13, 2010, 07:20:53 AM
-
>This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website
>by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company,
>of course, does not have a sense of humor, & made the web department
>take it down immediately (for once, the IMPORTANT note at the end is
>worth a read, too).
> ==============================================
>
> Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
> aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a
> few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.
> Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
> information will help us to develop new products that best
> meet your needs and desires.
>
> 1.
> [_] Mr.
> [_] Mrs.
> [_] Ms.
> [_] Miss
> [_] Lt.
> [_] Gen.
> [_] Comrade
> [_] Classified
> [_] Other
>
> First Name:
>
> ......................................................
> Initial:
> ........
> Last Name
>
> ......................................................
>
> Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
>
> Code Name:
>
> .......................................................
>
> Latitude-Longitude-Altitude:
> ......................................................
>
> 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
> [_] F-14 Tomcat
> [_] F-15 Eagle
> [_] F-16 Falcon
> [_] F-117A Stealth
> [_] Classified
>
> 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
> 19....... /......./......
>
> 4. Serial Number:
>
> ...............................................
>
> 5. Please indicate where this product was
> purchased:
> [_] Received as gift / aid package
> [_] Catalogue / showroom
> [_] Independent arms broker
> [_] Mail order
> [_] Discount store
> [_] Government surplus
> [_] Classified
>
> 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the
> McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> [_] Store display
> [_] Espionage
> [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> [_] Was attacked by one
>
> 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that
> most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell
> Douglas product:
> [_] Style / appearance
> [_] Speed / maneuverability
> [_] Price / value
> [_] Comfort / convenience
> [_] Kickback / bribe
> [_] Recommended by salesperson
> [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> [_] Backroom politics
> [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this
> product will be used:
> [_] North America
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Aircraft carrier
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Europe
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Africa
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Asia / Far East
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Misc. Third World countries
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Classified
> [_] Iraq
>
> 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend
> to purchase in the near future:
> [_] Color TV
> [_] VCR
> [_] ICBM
> [_] Killer Satellite
> [_] CD Player
> [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> [_] Space Shuttle
> [_] Home Computer
> [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
> 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
> (Indicate all that apply:)
> [_] Communist / Socialist
> [_] Terrorist
> [_] Crazed
> [_] Neutral
> [_] Democratic
> [_] Dictatorship
> [_] Corrupt
> [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
> [_] Deficit spending
> [_] Cash
> [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> [_] Oil revenues
> [_] Personal check
> [_] Credit card
> [_] Ransom money
> [_] Travelers check
>
> 12. Your occupation:
> [_] Homemaker
> [_] Sales / marketing
> [_] Revolutionary
> [_] Clerical
> [_] Mercenary
> [_] Tyrant
> [_] Middle management
> [_] Eccentric billionaire
> [_] Defense Minister / General
> [_] Retired
> [_] Student
>
> 13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate
> the interests an activities in which you & your spouse enjoy
> participating on a regular basis:
> [_] Golf
> [_] Boating / sailing
> [_] Sabotage
> [_] Running / jogging
> [_] Propaganda / misinformation
> [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> [_] Gardening
> [_] Crafts
> [_] Black market / smuggling
> [_] Collectibles / collections
> [_] Watching sports on TV
> [_] Wines
> [_] Interrogation / torture
> [_] Household pets
> [_] Crushing rebellions
> [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> [_] Fashion clothing
> [_] Border disputes
> [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
> questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that
> will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as
> well as allowing you to receive mailings & special offers from
> other companies, governments, extremist groups & mysterious
> consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be
> registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
> Sweepstakes!
>
> Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please
> write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department
> Military, Aerospace Division.
>
> IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the
> individual addressee(s) named above & may contain information
> that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly
> sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or
> irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
> recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this
> email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and
> constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word
> absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere
> other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or
> grammatical use & may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the
> transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is
> living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an
> overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that
> there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning
> backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.
> However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself &
> your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you & your
> pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some
> nutmeg & egg whites, whisk & place in a warm oven for 40
> minutes.