Jewish Mother: "Hello?"

     
     Daughter:  "Hi Mom.  Can I leave the kids with you tonight?"
     
     Jewish Mother: "Youre going out?"
     
     Daughter:  "Yes."
     
     Jewish Mother: "With whom?"
     
     Daughter:  "With a friend."
     

  Jewish Mother: "I dont know why you left your husband.  He is such a good man."
 
  Daughter:  "I didnt leave him.  He left me! "
 
  Jewish Mother: "You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and   nobodies."
 
  Daughter:  "I do not go out with anybody.  Can I bring over the kids? "
 
  Jewish Mother: "I never left you to go out with anybody except your father."
 
   Daughter:  "There are lots of things that you did, and I dont."
 
   Jewish Mother: "What are you hinting at? "
 
   Daughter:  "Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight."
 
   Jewish Mother: "Youre going to stay the night with him?  What will your
       husband say if he finds out?"
 
  Daughter:  "My EX husband. I dont think he would be bothered.
      From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!"
 
   Jewish Mother: "So youre going to sleep over at this losers place?"
 
  Daughter: "Hes not a loser."
 
  Jewish Mother: "A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite."
 
   Daughter: "I dont want to argue.  Should I bring over the kids or not? "
 
   Jewish Mother: "Poor children with such a mother."
 
   Daughter: "Such a what?"
 
   Jewish Mother: "With no stability.  No wonder your husband left you."
 
   Daughter: "ENOUGH!!! "
 
    Jewish Mother "Dont scream at me.  You probably scream at this loser too! "
 
    Daughter: "Now youre worried about the loser? "
 
    Jewish Mother: "Ah, so you see hes a loser.  I spotted him immediately."
 
     Daughter: "Goodbye, mother."
 
    Jewish Mother: "Wait!  Dont hang up! When are you bringing them over?
 
     Daughter: "Im not bringing them over!  Im not going out!"
 
     Jewish Mother: "If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?"