Reply #78 on: March 02, 2014, 11:45:50 AM
And if you think lawyers don't have hearts. Read the best lawyer
story of all time...bar none.
The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the
city's most successful lawyer.
So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that
even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't
give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to
your community through the United Way ?'
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research
also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness
and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, 'Uh... no, I didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled
veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to
support his wife and six children?
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off
again.
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband
died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage
and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has
learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so
sorry. I had no idea.'
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what
makes you think I'd give any to you?
and here is one on clergy.
A priest says to his friend, the rabbi, that he has a perfect way of eating for free in restaurants.
"I go in at well past 9 o'clock in the evening, eat several courses slowly, linger over coffee, port and a cigar. Come 2 o'clock, as they are clearing everything away, I just keep sitting there until eventually a waiter comes up asking me to pay. I say to the waiter: I've already paid your colleague who has left. Because I am a man of the cloth, they take my word for it, and I leave."
The rabbi is impressed, and says: "Let's try it together this evening."
So the priest books them into a restaurant and come 2 o'clock they are both still quietly sitting there after a very full meal. Sure enough, a waiter comes over and asks them to pay.
The priest just says: "I've already paid your colleague who has left."
The rabbi adds: "And, we're still waiting for the change!"