You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are
actually either male or female.  Here are some examples:

 

 

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you
>can see right through them.

 

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a
while to warm them up again.  They are an effective reproductive device
if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push
the wrong buttons.

 

TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over
inflated.

 

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse

 

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain
water.

 

WEB PAGES: Female, because theyre constantly being looked at and
frequently getting hit on.

 

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for
picking up people.

 

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight
shifts to the bottom.

 

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, theyve hardly changed at
all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

 

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male,
but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, hed be lost without
it, and while he doesnt always know which buttons to push, he just
keeps trying