Author Topic: The Dad thread  (Read 2689 times)

  • Offline neXus

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The Dad thread
on: February 09, 2018, 05:21:25 AM
Some of his are old hat parents, some of his are mid way through babies, toddlers and some of us are new to the game. I thought to start a thread to chat about being a dad, problems, solutions to help each other out.

Still enjoying being a dad here, 18 month son now already and he has been sleeping through the night for a little while now which I can tell you makes a MASSIVE DIFFERENCE to how you are. Being tired all the time SUCKS!

We at the stage of teaching more stuff, learning to speak words and learning manners, what is what like at dinner time and not to just throw food on the floor when done.

Be good to open up with issues having currently, some TOP TIPS and helpful stories and any new Dad's can come in.

  • Offline zpyder

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Re: The Dad thread
Reply #1 on: March 10, 2018, 20:43:35 PM
I'm actually quite interested in this.

My wife and I aren't getting any older and I think she's hoping to start a family in the next year.

It scares the crap out of me because I feel financially we can't afford it, won't be able to provide a good quality of life for it etc. However Everyone I talk to always say that you'll never feel like there's a right time etc.

Just curious how the new dads coped with those initial moments of new-dad-ness?

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  • Offline Clock'd 0Ne

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Re: The Dad thread
Reply #2 on: March 11, 2018, 10:57:04 AM
Financially its not that bad really, especially if you are breastfeeding as there's no food costs for the first 6 months. There's essentials like clothes, etc which family will always chip in and help with, a lot of stuff is gimmicky and you won't really need. Invest in a decent cotbed and mattress. There's never going to be a good time, do it before you start to really feel like an old dad!

  • Offline Beaker

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Re: The Dad thread
Reply #3 on: March 11, 2018, 20:28:23 PM
Keep a sense of humor.  For the first year at least you'll never feel like you've had enough sleep, you'll never feel like you're clean, you'll just feel like you're a slave of a small shouty person.  Just remember to laugh at stuff, or you'll go nuts.

Re: The Dad thread
Reply #4 on: March 12, 2018, 00:28:38 AM
I'm actually quite interested in this.

My wife and I aren't getting any older and I think she's hoping to start a family in the next year.

It scares the crap out of me because I feel financially we can't afford it, won't be able to provide a good quality of life for it etc. However Everyone I talk to always say that you'll never feel like there's a right time etc.

Just curious how the new dads coped with those initial moments of new-dad-ness?

Unless you're really on the breadline, struggling to put food on the table I really dont think babies are that expensive. Maybe 100 GBP a month for all the various things? It was one of the things that shocked me most.

There is of course no limit to what you can spend if you have the money but its 99% unncessary, a second hand pram and cot dont need to cost much at all. Things get a bit more expensive when they start school but thats 6 years ago from when you decide to have a kid (if all goes well). That was how I justified it to myself financially, it might be tight now, but in 6 years time? Should be fine.

The key is not to get caught up in the marketing and think that because you didnt spend 2k on a mothercare nursery set and havent got a seperate instagram worthy nursery that that makes you in any way a worse parent - it has zero to do with it. My most well rounded friends who I think are doing the best job of raising kids are mostly the ones who spend less on the kids.

I've got a nearly-6 year old and a second due in August. Nothing better than having your own little play buddy to do everything with.





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  • Offline neXus

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Re: The Dad thread
Reply #5 on: March 12, 2018, 05:16:28 AM
I'm actually quite interested in this.

My wife and I aren't getting any older and I think she's hoping to start a family in the next year.

It scares the crap out of me because I feel financially we can't afford it, won't be able to provide a good quality of life for it etc. However Everyone I talk to always say that you'll never feel like there's a right time etc.

Just curious how the new dads coped with those initial moments of new-dad-ness?

I am in Australia of course but most countries will help you out and cover a lot for the medical side of things. Here we only pay for the extra jabs needed and a lot of the initial doctor appointments and checkups were all free etc.

There is the big hit initially in getting stuff setup, and the top tip early on is not to buy many baby clothes yourself.. Family will give you more then you need in that regard as gifts and the Grandparents wont stop buying stuff.

Stuff comes as they get older. When you go on holiday you have to pay a fee for them and when they hit two it is like 75% of a full flight, so travel and things like that it starts adding up.
For us being a 1 bedroom rent, when this is up we need to move to a 2 bedroom so the cost there will go up as well.

So it will go up. In terms of the wife the way they used to work is over basically no matter how they look at it or spin it.

- They will go on leave for a long time, their work will need to fill the role.
- Even with them legally have to hold the role for pregnant women in most countries that is really hard for a company so even if they do come back to work it may not be the same role
- Day care is EXPENSIVE, especially here in Australia so it may not even be viable if your wife earns x amount and day care on that day is y and nullifies them bothering to go to work.


Then it is just all the life adjustments, being used to less sleep and shifting how you do your days around. Your holidays wont be the same and things like that and it is just adapting to the different way of life.
People kept saying to me do not let the kids make your life revolve around them, you just need to adjust and adapt to it and try to keep to the things you love.

- I can not play video games as much
- I go gym in the week a lot later
- I am a bit late Mondays and Thursdays dropping my son off to day care...


It is just change.

  • Offline bear

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Re: The Dad thread
Reply #6 on: March 21, 2018, 16:36:33 PM
Well I guess I am past that, as my youngest being 22, so now it is grandchildren which is much easier :)

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