In answer to this thread...

...Since leaving I realised over the last few years I have a slight obsessive personality (addiction to the forum back then, and other things since) so I don’t think staying active here is a good idea.

The reason I “came back” (In disguise (the avatar and signature change were a subtle hint this time)) was due to ETGS issues a while ago (Their site was down yet again and I needed to know what the score was - Thankfully changed hosts now)

Since then I’ve occasionally checked back as I still rate this place as being a useful consumer review resource for things like ISP’s. Can’t say the same about other things though...

...and to clear things up with the whole leaving thing...

...whatever happened back then? Sadly the database wipe has lost record of what happened and no doubt different people will recall different things...my recollection is that there was a certain person at Un who I initially thought of as a friend. One of two out of about 60-70 course mates...that kinda sucked.

This person had a tendency of saying malicious things in a very confrontational manner. My real world self being the meek person I am, couldn’t handle these situations nor respond to them as they occurred.  Neither did I want to do anything to reduce that friendship to 1 or possibly even 0. I was stuck.

The forums were a form of vent for me, where I could verbally reason out things that were on my mind. I guess a kind of forum based rant blog almost...and much like people entertain visions of recklessly driven cars spinning out of control infront of them as a form of retribution for them breaking various laws and yourself driving sensibly, I stated my mind on the scenario I was facing. It just so happened that this mental scenario about a bully, involved a girl, and certain members took offence to this.

As I said...it was a form of vent, there were several ideas that popped into my head after several incidents, which were discussed in the thread, in the process relieving me of some of the pressure I was facing dealing with this person. It just so happened that one or two of those ideas struck a little close to home for some members perhaps.

Some people may have thought that I might actually carry them out as well (I recall the problem was the suggestion of showing her the malicious and hateful vent thread that I had created). Whereas dreams of ramming that car that just cut you up are obviously never going to happen, sending someone a link to a website is a bit too feasible.

Sooo...things were said, rightly or wrongly I still don’t know. I wanted to believe that over the years on the forums, people had gotten to know me, and known what my personality was like. They would have known there was a kind of split life going on...the socially inept quiet zpyder in the real world, and the zpyder who detailed these things and how he felt about them on the internet. Sadly when your refuge from your real world problems ends up also becoming one of those problems, there’s nowhere else to go, and so I left.

The curse of this place was that though 9/10 times it was an awesome, witty community, that other 1 time there’s someone ‘strongly disagreeing’ with someone else. The problem with this is that neither party will ever admit they were wrong, and so things get worse until one of them stops. I had issues with insults which I felt were unjustified, the other party felt that they were. I still don’t know how I could actually make them see why I believe they weren’t (in my opinion) and still aren’t...anything I could say would likely deliberately be read with a negative bias by them. My reasoning for myself not justifying the insults is the following example...if someone violently attacked a family member, I’d find it strange for anyone to not wish that their attacker didn’t get a taste of their own medicine. They won’t enact their desire for revenge, but it’s there. I merely publicised my feelings as a method of dealing with them.

There’s not much more I can say on the subject I guess. I guess an update on what happened next is in order...I left the forums...finished that year at uni...’she’ failed the year and did not resit...life got easier. None of this had anything to do with me I hasten to add, I knuckled down and got on with it all.

In the time between then and now, I have new friends...and they’re all girls haha, who would have thought it. The rest of the course clique are still a group unto their own. Learning the workings of my personality has let me slowly improve my social skills though I still have a way to go. Career wise I still find it easier to get on with older generations, which has been a benefit as I’ve integrated with the environmental lecturers and technicians, landing a couple of contracts over the last 6 months.

And that’s that. I guess.

Now Im not pointing fingers at anyone (before anyone decides to get hissy), (Im just making a point), but the people who throw their weight around on internet forums as some people do on Tek generally wouldnt behave this way face to face or even on the phone to other people. Of course youll never admit it and jump in with a lot of bravado spouting nonsense like "of course Id treat people like that in the real world!"

Quote from: Chris H

Now Im not pointing fingers at anyone (before anyone decides to get hissy), (Im just making a point), but the people who throw their weight around on internet forums as some people do on Tek generally wouldnt behave this way face to face or even on the phone to other people. Of course youll never admit it and jump in with a lot of bravado spouting nonsense like "of course Id treat people like that in the real world!"

dont know if Im included in this but I do treat people exactly how I treat people on here

I dont directly insult people on here and I rarely do in real life - but I can be an argumentative pedantic git in real life too - this includes dealing with clients and is generally a useful way to deal with the completely retarded ones or else their issue or rather non-issue will drag on for weeks and get escalated to project managers etc.. a quick phone call to say youre being a spastic, why do you see this as an issue? generally stumps the clueless ones whove simply forwarded on something their user moaned about without understanding it themselves. Without telling them to piss off a lot of development time would be wasted.

Only difference is that things can be said over the phone in a more jovial way whereas on a forum tone of voice etc.. is non existent and people can read abrupt replies as being aggressive etc..