Whilst the government continues to refine its secret plans to plant a chip in everyones heads, operate us all with special wires and deal with dissent using a special face-mounted rat cage, it has in the meantime released details of its proposed pay-as-you-go taxathon for drivers, and its more complex than first thought.
Under the new scheme drivers will, as rumoured, by offered a pay-as-you-go plan for using their car, but this will be accompanied by a sister contract scheme for less pikey motorists.
"Pay-as-you-go will be ideal for people who use their car only in emergencies," said government spokesman Mampap Ungulate. "It will suit the young, perhaps the elderly, and of course drug dealers and the rat faced twats who hang around outside your local McDonalds all night. Whereas contract driving will bring its own benefits such as perhaps 60 free driving minutes per month and 200 free uses of the indicator". Mr Ungulate later denied that he didnt know the difference between a car and a mobile phone, even though he then attempted to ring his mother on a Kia Sportage.
The most controversial part of this new transport plan is the clause, buried deep in the new Supplemental Toll Provisions Bill, which allows for the planting of tracking devices, initially in cars and later in new born babies, and the penalties for tampering with such equipment. "There really is nothing sinister about this," insists Mampap Ungulate. "But naturally we have to punish those who attempt to evade the law in the appropriate way, such as with electrodes, the rack and perhaps some light firing squad. When this scheme goes live we simply cannot allow people to interfere with Project Ultimate Control… Oops, Ive said too much," he added before attempting to speed off in a Nokia 6230.
"Blimey," said a man speaking from the Soviet Union in the 1970s. "Your regime is really oppressive".