Somewhere -
Prime: We need the cube thing. We come from Mars. Or something.
Qatar -
(Soldier1: We need air cover here, now!)
The Pentagon -
Geek: No one can crack this code.
Secret Offical Dude 14: Turn off the Internet! Turn off the Internet!
Geek: Hay, my mate down the road just cracked it on his Xbox!
Air Force One -
Stewardess: Ooh, a strange looking radio aboard the most highly secured plane in the world. It couldnt possible be a bomb or owt dodgy like that. Mmmm cake. Ewwww.
High school -
Boy: Im just here to get the High School Angst angle in.
Girl: Im way too fit for you but Ill bash you in the end anyway.
Somewhere -
Thingy1: Ok, theres a map showing where it is on this pair of glasses. Look, theyre for sale on eBay and they take Paypal!
Qatar -
(Soldier2: We need air cover here, now!)
(Soldier3: Yes, we really do need air cover here, now!)
Somewhere -
Prime: So, we must find Ladiesmanwhatever. Get on Google and find his address.
Qatar -
(Soldier4: We need air cover here, now!)
Somewhere -
Thingy2: Hang on. Ive got a cunning plan!
Prime: Oh, really?
America -
(Soldier5: We need air cover here, now!)
Somewhere -
Thingy2: Indeed. Let us register an account with eBay and Paypal and bid money for the glasses. Well get em for next to nothing and deliver is peanuts.
Prime: Good thinking, Thingy2. Go, do it at once!
America -
(Soldier7: We need air cover here, now!)
Internet Cafe, Somewhere -
Prime: 30 seconds left... 15.... last minute bid in.... and... NO!!!! I lost!!
Thingy1: Well, hang on. Thats not a bad thing because what this movie really lacks is credible tension. Now we have it!
Prime: But that means well have to go fight in a blurry fashion. And thatd in turn mean bringing in the Deceptionomatronics motive, and tbh, their motive sucks.
Thingy2: How about we email the guy selling them and ask for a bigger picture of them. That way we get the map and we save money.
Prime: Wow, I wish I was smart as you. Now the movie can simply go on for another 2hours without us having to justify our annoying voices or picture-book dialogue to anyone!
America -
Soldier8: We need air cover here, now! Oh, no. Wait. Nevermind.
The Big Dam -
Secret agent: Hey, boss. Theres someone here asking about...
..Meh, thats enough. Its off my chest now. I sat through the whole thing and I needed closure. Almost cool film, ruined by everything except the awesome robots.
Oh, God. Its going to be Thundercats or something next :(
Knightrider
Shouldnt that be crotchrider?
Transformers is one of three DVDs I have on order. Hopefully there will be something worthwhile in watching it...
Nice script, directors cut? :mrgreen:
Ive given up on worrying about weak plots and cliched storytelling in action films. They are all run of the mill these days because originality is running thin. Theyll never be as good as the films from the 80s/early 90s so I just turn off the reasoning part of my brain and enjoy, which made Transformers awesome :D
What irks me more is total dross like Crash being lauded as the most brilliant social commentary in the world and BEST MOVIE EVAR by the critique elite when the reality is its just a few mediocre short stories intertwined with a sprinkling of psuedo-philantropic icing. Every man and his dog thinks hes better than you if hes seen one of these worthy films and all of a sudden they are a movie buff. Id rather watch a rom com, at least the schmaltz in those is expected.
best films ive been watching are french cinema. le secret is a particularly good one, especially as the plot is easy to observe without having to know the language to well.