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Just a simple question really and how is it going between you too, how are the families etc?

Im in a mixed sex relationship, if that helps?

My other half is originally from Wigan, I think that counts as mixed race?

Quote from: Chris HMy other half is originally from Wigan, I think that counts as mixed race?

Ahh, the land of the Pie-In-a-Roll.  Wonderful place, 50% normal people, 50% Plastic Scousers.  Saturday nights in Wigan are an education!  I bet shes glad she escaped!

What makes me laugh about Wigan is that the people there have this delusion that the pier is the pinnacle of our civilisation.

My brother was married to a Nigerian, it didnt work out well but that was because they shouldnt have been together in the first place, rather than any failings of them as a couple.

Quote from: Clockd 0NeMy brother was married to a Nigerian, it didnt work out well but that was because they shouldnt have been together in the first place, rather than any failings of them as a couple.

Aye, those 419ers are getting creative.

*LOOKS ANGRILY AT EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD!!*

I think the question should be "Anyone in a mixed cultural relationship"

i.e.  rich/poor,  muslim/christian  etc.

Ive been in lots of mixed relationships.

Quote from: Sweenster*LOOKS ANGRILY AT EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD!!*

why?

Because neXus obviously has a girlfriend from a different culture?

Im not but know several who are, they seem to be doing fine.

Main issue seems to be discussing cultural differences before they become an issue.

Quote from: knighty

Quote from: Sweenster*LOOKS ANGRILY AT EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD!!*

why?

doh.... lol

I thought hed just got the wrong end of the stick....
(like i normally do)

I am in a mixed race relationship. 15 Months in and it is going brilliantly.
Problem is with her having to sneak around, hardly spending the full night, leaving at 2 am and Me only seeing her 14 ish hours of a week and like the last few weeks even less then that.
She is asian and her whole family do not know I exist.

Bothering me a hell of a lot now and just wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences.

I have/had (not heard from him in 7-8 months!) a friend who was seeing a chinese lass. He went over to China to meet the family around the time the olympics were going on. What he told me of the Chinese in China put me off going to China :| I mean we all knew of the censorship etc going on, but actually getting a first hand account of just how bad the propaganda and censorship was, as well as the racism he encountered (doesnt help being Iranian I guess). I found it weird as the Chinese people I know in the UK are really great people, but it seems the ones that havent escaped to the west have a really different view on things.

He said he was constantly arguing with his girlfriends father as he kept saying that the chinese were better at x y and z and getting into all sorts of challenges to prove himself, though how much of this was just my friend being the way he is I dont know!

Another friend recently married a portuguese lass. Completely the other end of the spectrum I think, where the families get on really well etc!

Her mum is Chinese but born in NZ and her dad is Chinese. She was born here and is kiwi as you get bar appearance. She loves getting a tan for example. It is her Dad I think she is scared of more then anything else.
This is long term and we get on brilliantly, not one row or argument within 15 months and and I have never had something like this in my whole life, everyone is sick and jealous of us to (work and friends wise) because we get on so well.

my friend moved to china & is seeing a local girl.
He had some problems at the start & even had a chaperone on any dates he took her on for quite a while.

You need to sort your woman out, obviously the longer your relationship goes on for, the harder it is to tell
her parents if she doesnt think they are going to accept you.


At the end of the day, you can pick your friends, but you cant pick your family.. but you can tell them to f**k OFF

Quote from: EggtasticoAt the end of the day, you can pick your friends, but you cant pick your family.. but you can tell them to f**k OFF

Its not often I agree with Egg but this gets a big thumbs up from me.

Quote from: Sweenster*LOOKS ANGRILY AT EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD!!*

*chuckle*

I only live up the road, and used to drive through there pretty much every day at one point!

Quote from: Alien8

Quote from: Sweenster*LOOKS ANGRILY AT EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD!!*

(Image removed from quote.)

I was also wondering why the suddenly angriness but now it all makes sense :)

Sorry Nexus havent got much input as dont have any long term mixed relationship experience myself. Guessing this is the same girl I met in NZ last year?

Quote from: neXusHer mum is Chinese but born in NZ and her dad is Chinese. She was born here and is kiwi as you get bar appearance. She loves getting a tan for example. It is her Dad I think she is scared of more then anything else.
This is long term and we get on brilliantly, not one row or argument within 15 months and and I have never had something like this in my whole life, everyone is sick and jealous of us to (work and friends wise) because we get on so well.

Dude, what Egg said. But she should talk to her mum 1st and let her talk to her dad. It always works out that way. If you leave it and get her up the duff they will go apesh*t if he doesnt know about you. If its serious she needs to grow some and have that chat, sooner rather than later. If it aint serious... wait, I mean how do you know she aint messing around with you til her parents hook her up with some rich dude? Girls can be crafty as f**k mate, remember that. Its that extra little bit of commitment you want here, huh?

If its looking like an argument then just make her feel bad about it - its her doing, you aint doing nowt wrong.

Quote from: neXusI am in a mixed race relationship. 15 Months in and it is going brilliantly.
Problem is with her having to sneak around, hardly spending the full night, leaving at 2 am and Me only seeing her 14 ish hours of a week and like the last few weeks even less then that.
She is asian and her whole family do not know I exist.

Bothering me a hell of a lot now and just wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences.

If its getting serious then tbh... you should probably let her know and arrange to meet the parents.

Im assuming from the title that race is the issue here as opposed to religion/culture etc... tbh.. It isnt your fault theyre potentially racist bigots and neither is it hers - clearly its their views that need changing and so perhaps visiting them and showing youre a nice guys etc.. might help them get over any silly concerns they could otherwise have had. Tbh.. what did they expect - NZ is full of white people.

racist bigots is a bit strong... its just there culture to be very involved in who there children marry - especially there daughters, same as Indian families etc...

still the same thing

If theyd not be happy about him simply because hes not Chinese then tbh.. what else do you call it.

You cant justify it by saying its their culture thats like saying its just white working class culture in Essex to be hostile to immigrants and vote BNP - if theyve got bigoted views then how they came about those views is irrelevant - whether this came about from years of tradition or from a sudden influx of immigrants theyre still racist bigots.

Indeed. And considering my friend told me that when he was over in china he got followed by the police a lot, partly under suspicion, and partly for his protection as a lot of foreigners had been stabbed in the area recently, it doesnt help disuade from that.

Combined with little girls shouting "Big nose big nose" at him in chinese too (he thought it was cute that they were pointing at him and being all giggly, till his girlfriend translated). He got scowled at and threatening looks a lot of places he went too :|

Quote from: zpyderIndeed. And considering my friend told me that when he was over in china he got followed by the police a lot, partly under suspicion, and partly for his protection as a lot of foreigners had been stabbed in the area recently, it doesnt help disuade from that.

Combined with little girls shouting "Big nose big nose" at him in chinese too (he thought it was cute that they were pointing at him and being all giggly, till his girlfriend translated). He got scowled at and threatening looks a lot of places he went too :|

they small

they orange


they oompa loompas

^^^


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9CSnlb-ymA

tbh....   -)

Quote from: Chris H

Quote from: EggtasticoAt the end of the day, you can pick your friends, but you cant pick your family.. but you can tell them to f**k OFF

Its not often I agree with Egg but this gets a big thumbs up from me.

Its not often I agree with him either but he does have a point, and I have used pretty much the same tactic too.

Ive been out with a few Americans and the differences between two racially similar, English speaking, cultures can be pretty amazing.

Quote from: SamIve been out with a few Americans and the differences between two racially similar, English speaking, cultures can be pretty amazing.

the fact that they agreed to go out with you just shows how different there culture is to ours.....


wait.... they did know you were going out right ?...  it doesnt count if you just happen to be in the same place at the same time you know...

lol you caught me out