Havent seen him in years. Thought of him quite randomly. Good stuff. :lol: Some random quotes from Wiki:
Quote from: wikipedia# "Some mornings, it just doesnt pay to gnaw through those leather straps."
# "When I was ten, my parents moved to Downers Grove, Illinois. When I was 12, I found them."
# "You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists."
# "I love going down to the schoolyard to watch all the little children jump up and down and scream...cause they dont know Im using blanks."
# "At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second. Cause it has the antidote."
# "I ran three miles today... finally I said, Lady, keep your purse."
# "I was in a bar the other night, moving from stool to stool, trying to get lucky...but there wasnt any gum under any of them."
# "Theres nothing like that first pot of coffee, is there? Ive tried other enemas..."
# "I left for college that September... my Dad said, Im going to miss you. I said Well now that I broke that sight off your rifle..."
# "My parents threw quite a going-away party for me, according to the letter..."
# "I was sent to the principals office for copying... they heard my Minolta running. The principal said Emo, Emo, Emo. I said Im the one in the middle, you lousy drunk! He said, you know, I could expel you. I said yes, but youd have to catch me and eat me first."
# "I woke up with a bloody nose this morning. I said, yeech, who threw that in there?"
# "My favourite thing about California is hearing the surfers crash against the rocks."
# "I was boating with my sister and I said, Hey, do you want to go swimming? and she said, No, Im on my period, bla bla bla... She takes all the fun out of shark fishing."
# "Im not Catholic but I gave up picking my belly button for lint!"
# "The worst part of a persons life is when you have to murder a loved one because theyre the Devil."
# "How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand."
# "Well my brother says Hello... Hooray for speech therapy."
# "I went on a date once but I didnt open the car door for the girl. Instead, I just swam to the surface
# "Want me to do my tribute to Elvis?"...."Thanks, Elvis!"
Pretty funny stuff, theres a pretty funny Emo Philips bit I heard once about him not liking to see poor people rummaging around in his garbage - so he made him a skunk suit.
Not sure why thats funny to me, but it is :)
I think he put the word emo in like emo...