ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER: This, apparently, is an actual letter received by the UK Passport Office. Dear Sirs, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe how is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1988, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date. Do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book. It's on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card. My driving licence. My car insurance. On the last eight damn passports I've had. It's on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years. All those insufferable census forms. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that WOULD ever change between now and when I die!! I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullsh*t! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bleeding address!! What is going on? Do you have a gang of neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for sh*t sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a sh*t whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something wierd to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last f**king people I'd want to tell! Well, I have to go now,'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another f**king copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the f**kin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then WE have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic f**kin' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off! Signed An Irate Citizen P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ... I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor .. WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FRIGGIN` PAKISTAN!

Real, Actual scan of letter is on the web.

Real? Because of a scan?

I printed it out using a letter template. Must be real then.

What does someone's nationality have to do with if they are a professional person?

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 2

Quote from: M3ta7h3ad on March 11, 2013, 06:26:49 AM
Real? Because of a scan?

I printed it out using a letter template. Must be real then.

What does someone's nationality have to do with if they are a professional person?

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 2

What does someone's nationality have to do with if they are a professional person?  Nothing, but that was not really the point even if it was in capital letters.

I cannot find anything on snopes about this "letter".

Quote from: bear on March 11, 2013, 07:36:26 AM

Quote from: M3ta7h3ad on March 11, 2013, 06:26:49 AM
Real? Because of a scan?

I printed it out using a letter template. Must be real then.

What does someone's nationality have to do with if they are a professional person?

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 2

What does someone's nationality have to do with if they are a professional person?  Nothing, but that was not really the point even if it was in capital letters.

Sorry just grinds my gears the amount of idiocy and ignorance in the "joke".

If government departments freely shared your information amongst each other it would result in an uproar e.g. Why should the DVLA have someones personal details if they never actually intend to drive?

It would also be a bloody red tape nightmare due to the data protection laws put in place to secure this idiot's personally identifiable information.

Non-UK nationals don't always look like terrorists. Terrorists don't always look like Non-UK nationals. The purpose for having a passport is never asked for, so if you wish to hunt out the last resting place of Bin Laden feel free to do so... That said other agencies may be interested in your devout following of a terrorist leader.

The only way you could get a passport in a short period of time is by pre-booking an appointment in the passport office. Unless you want your much more useful on a daily basis tescos or other useful building taken over, they aren't going to build an office in every town/city.

Need a birth certificate? You're given one at birth. Next time don't bloody lose it, a copy also only costs £10 last I had one.

And the doctor needing to prove your likeness... Sorry but your mate "crazy bob" who spends his days smacked out of his head on crack isn't going to cut it. So yes, Dr Gupta who has some professional standing is going to have to say your photo is a true likeness.

It has become easier in sweden now as the police now take the pictures (passport and driving licence) themselves at the station (not all but one in every larger city) by appointment or drop in.

I have to say the thing that annoys me the most about things like passports is the photos. Those ridiculous photo booths cost £5 now, and of course you have to get new ones each time you need an update. Another thing I find ridiculous is I've worn glasses every day for the past 5 years, so why aren't you allowed glasses in the photo? I checked, there was no glare.

It wouldn't be so bad if they could get it right, considering applications are hand written, yet somehow they've never got my dad's birthplace right.

Quote from: Beanissocoollike on March 12, 2013, 11:40:07 AM
I have to say the thing that annoys me the most about things like passports is the photos. Those ridiculous photo booths cost £5 now, and of course you have to get new ones each time you need an update. Another thing I find ridiculous is I've worn glasses every day for the past 5 years, so why aren't you allowed glasses in the photo? I checked, there was no glare.

It wouldn't be so bad if they could get it right, considering applications are hand written, yet somehow they've never got my dad's birthplace right.

You are allowed glasses as long as there isn't any glare. Every passport I've ever had I've had my glasses on in the photo.

Strange, before when I had my passport photos taken the two which I was wearing glasses in came up on the screen with big x's through them, saying they didn't meet the standards for passport photos. I'll have to see what happens next year when I update it

Quote from: M3ta7h3ad on March 11, 2013, 07:52:20 AMSorry just grinds my gears the amount of idiocy and ignorance in the "joke".

chill out a bit it's only a joke


and tbh the county would be a much better place if everyone's details were kept on one centralised system = he who has nothing to hide hides nothing

it's not like you'd give 'people' access to it... but if the dvla computers could scan through all records, checking your medical info to see if there's a reason you shouldn't be driving, and then flag that up for attention then there's nothing wrong with that

same as the dole etc.. could scan through and see how much you have in the bank, where you live, how many cars you have etc...

there's a million and one other things I can think of, but cba to type them out with a bandage on my finger :-(

Quote from: knighty on March 12, 2013, 14:24:32 PM

Quote from: M3ta7h3ad on March 11, 2013, 07:52:20 AMSorry just grinds my gears the amount of idiocy and ignorance in the "joke".

chill out a bit it's only a joke


and tbh the county would be a much better place if everyone's details were kept on one centralised system = he who has nothing to hide hides nothing

it's not like you'd give 'people' access to it... but if the dvla computers could scan through all records, checking your medical info to see if there's a reason you shouldn't be driving, and then flag that up for attention then there's nothing wrong with that

same as the dole etc.. could scan through and see how much you have in the bank, where you live, how many cars you have etc...

there's a million and one other things I can think of, but cba to type them out with a bandage on my finger :-(

Just because you have nothing to hide shouldn't mean that all and sundry can poke through your info.

Quote from: knighty on March 12, 2013, 14:24:32 PM

Quote from: M3ta7h3ad on March 11, 2013, 07:52:20 AMSorry just grinds my gears the amount of idiocy and ignorance in the "joke".

chill out a bit it's only a joke


and tbh the county would be a much better place if everyone's details were kept on one centralised system = he who has nothing to hide hides nothing

it's not like you'd give 'people' access to it... but if the dvla computers could scan through all records, checking your medical info to see if there's a reason you shouldn't be driving, and then flag that up for attention then there's nothing wrong with that

same as the dole etc.. could scan through and see how much you have in the bank, where you live, how many cars you have etc...

there's a million and one other things I can think of, but cba to type them out with a bandage on my finger :-(

hope he doesnt find out the US has access to a lot of our databases.

Quote from: soopahfly on March 12, 2013, 14:36:44 PM

Quote from: knighty on March 12, 2013, 14:24:32 PM

Quote from: M3ta7h3ad on March 11, 2013, 07:52:20 AMSorry just grinds my gears the amount of idiocy and ignorance in the "joke".

chill out a bit it's only a joke


and tbh the county would be a much better place if everyone's details were kept on one centralised system = he who has nothing to hide hides nothing

it's not like you'd give 'people' access to it... but if the dvla computers could scan through all records, checking your medical info to see if there's a reason you shouldn't be driving, and then flag that up for attention then there's nothing wrong with that

same as the dole etc.. could scan through and see how much you have in the bank, where you live, how many cars you have etc...

there's a million and one other things I can think of, but cba to type them out with a bandage on my finger :-(

Just because you have nothing to hide shouldn't mean that all and sundry can poke through your info.

You're more at risk from being on the electoral roll or having a mobile phone company with your details farming them out to everyone IMO.

Quote from: Clock'd 0Ne on March 12, 2013, 16:29:07 PM

Quote from: soopahfly on March 12, 2013, 14:36:44 PMJust because you have nothing to hide shouldn't mean that all and sundry can poke through your info.

You're more at risk from being on the electoral roll or having a mobile phone company with your details farming them out to everyone IMO.

but... just because they have it all in a big database all together doesn't mean everyone will have access to it... so the tax man can't look at your driving licence or medical records without your permission etc..

ok it's all a bit "big brother" but it would save a load of filling in forms, and it would make it much harder for benefit cheats/drug dealers etc.. to get away with it

plus there's the other side of it, I bet there's thousands of people (especially the elderly) who are seriously strapped for cash and should be getting some help but aren't either because they don;t know they could get it, or the system is too complicated and scares them

Quote from: knighty on March 12, 2013, 19:12:51 PM

Quote from: Clock'd 0Ne on March 12, 2013, 16:29:07 PM

Quote from: soopahfly on March 12, 2013, 14:36:44 PMJust because you have nothing to hide shouldn't mean that all and sundry can poke through your info.

You're more at risk from being on the electoral roll or having a mobile phone company with your details farming them out to everyone IMO.

but... just because they have it all in a big database all together doesn't mean everyone will have access to it... so the tax man can't look at your driving licence or medical records without your permission etc..

ok it's all a bit "big brother" but it would save a load of filling in forms, and it would make it much harder for benefit cheats/drug dealers etc.. to get away with it

plus there's the other side of it, I bet there's thousands of people (especially the elderly) who are seriously strapped for cash and should be getting some help but aren't either because they don;t know they could get it, or the system is too complicated and scares them

It would be and I'm for a system like that. But chances are the guy writing the letter would be the first to complain about having to hand over that information.

Also think of the ease of abuse...

What do you think about the latest Facebook innovation. They've struck a deal with the 3 largest loyalty card system providers so they can query it for your information to help target advertising at you? Yay data mining/warehousing is fun!