God appears to a man and tells him hell have to quit fags, drink and sex if he wants to go to heaven.

A week later God reappears and asks how its going. He says the fags and drink we easy to give up but when my wife bent over to take meat out of the freezer I couldnt resist. I had to give her one there and then.

God says, they dont like that in heaven. Man replies they dont like that in Morrisons either.

lol

on a sidenote I went to morrisons the other day. I thought Id have some sushi but then realised it was morrions in yorkshire, so pork pies it was.

Heard it before, but a long time ago and not on here, still funny

hehe good one.