True sentences:
>
> 1. I think part of a best friends job should be to immediately clear
> your computer history if you die.
>
> 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
> realize youre wrong.
>
> 3. I totally take back all those times I didnt want to nap when I was
> younger.
>
> 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
>
> 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
>
> 6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
>
> 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty
> sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
>
> 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
> Person died.
>
> 9. I cant remember the last time I wasnt at least kind of tired.
>
> 10. Bad decisions make good stories.
>
> 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you know that you just arent going to do anything productive for
> the rest of the day.
>
> 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
> dont want to have to restart my collection...again.
>
> 13. Im always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper
> that I swear I did not make any changes to.
>
> 14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -
> ever.
>
> 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes
to voice mail. What did you do after I didnt answer? Drop the phone and
> run away?
>
> 16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
> seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
>
> 17. I keep some peoples phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.
>
> 18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
>
> 19. I disagree with Kay Jewellers. I would bet on any given Friday or
> Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
>
> 20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
>
> 21. Sometimes, Ill watch a movie that I watched when I was younger
and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first
> saw it.
>
> 22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
> than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
>
> 23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when Im trying to
> finish a text.
>
> 24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
> hunger.
>
> 25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didnt hear or understand a word they
said?
>
> 26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team
up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers
> and sisters!
>
> 27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
> dirty, and you can wear them forever.
>
> 28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every
year?
>
> 29. Theres no worse feeling than that millisecond youre sure you are
> going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
>
> 30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
>
> 31. Sometimes Ill look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
> not know what time it is.
>
> 32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
> keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on
the Donkey - but Id bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every
> time!

Dont remember writing that but feels like I couldve done  

so true!!