The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it, I was greeted with "Is this Karl Brummer?" Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling. The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that.  Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number. I then said off to the side, "Get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears."  I then turned back to t he phone and advised the caller that he had called a murder scene and must stay on the line, because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.  I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At that point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away
My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face.   So help me, I couldnt tell her for about fifteen minu tes.  My meal was cold, but it was the best meal Id had in a long, long time.

bear 1, telemarketers 0

Class  

i like your style  :bowdown:

Pure genius

Winner

  Thats fantastic bear, pure brilliance :bowdown:
 

lol!!!! Absolute brilliance!

Awesome

Jaimz

Classic!

Just setting the phone down and walking away is always good as well. Im on a no-call list, so I dont feel too mean, as I could alternately report them to the authorities.

Now folks that misdial never get a rude answer from me, I always make sure they know what number they dialed by mistake, and crosscheck it with the intended numerals. The person who was the funniest about this was our local dear departed June Carter Cash, who love people so much, that shed end up chatting with wrong numbers for half an hour or more. Her [grown] children would ask her when she hung up, "who was that?". "I have no idea," shed reply.

i always call them heartless because i have just died

That is absolute genious bear.    

There is another one to add to the list, along with, "no they are not in, Im just burglaring the place".

that is quite possibly the best response to telemarketing I have ever heared. Saddly it wouldnt work on the ones I get here, lately its been representatives from Orange phones trying to sell me a new phone, except these guys litterally dont speak english. The last one I had continued his side of the conversation regardless of what I said as if I had replied the way he, or should I say his script writer, expected.

I get those orange callers every odd couple of months.  The number of times I have to tell them politely I am not on contract! :?

Five stars for that beauty!!