We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned
 on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet
and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and
requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the
 house. The cat we put out in the back yard, scoots back in, thru the front
door.
 
We didnt want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the
 bird. My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The
cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.
 
 Waiting in the cab, my wife doesnt want the driver to know that the house
will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will
 be out soon, Hes just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.
 
 A few minutes later, I get into the cab. Sorry I took so long, I said, as
we drove away. That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke
her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I
grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her
from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw
her out into the back yard!
 
The cab driver hit a parked car.