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1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tbsp. lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Tequila

Sample the tequila to check quality.

Take a large bowl, and check the tequila again, to be sure it is of the
highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of
butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At
this point, its best to make sure the tequila is still OK, so, try another
cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick
the frigging fruit and the damn cup off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the
fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a
drewscriver. Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two
cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice and
strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever
you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to
fall over. Dont forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl
through the window, finish off the booze and make sure to put the stove in
the dishwasher.