>This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website
>by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company,
>of course, does not have a sense of humor, & made the web department
>take it down immediately (for once, the IMPORTANT note at the end is
>worth a read, too).
>     ==============================================
>
>     Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
>     aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a
>     few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.
>     Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
>     information will help us to develop new products that best
>     meet your needs and desires.
>
>     1.
>     [_] Mr.
>     [_] Mrs.
>     [_] Ms.
>     [_] Miss
>     [_] Lt.
>     [_] Gen.
>     [_] Comrade
>     [_] Classified
>     [_] Other
>
>     First Name:
>
>     ......................................................
>     Initial:
>     ........
>     Last Name
>
>     ......................................................
>
>     Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
>
>     Code Name:
>
>     .......................................................
>
>     Latitude-Longitude-Altitude:
>     ......................................................
>
>     2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
>     [_] F-14 Tomcat
>     [_] F-15 Eagle
>     [_] F-16 Falcon
>     [_] F-117A Stealth
>     [_] Classified
>
>     3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
>     19....... /......./......
>
>     4. Serial Number:
>
>     ...............................................
>
>     5. Please indicate where this product was
>     purchased:
>     [_] Received as gift / aid package
>     [_] Catalogue / showroom
>     [_] Independent arms broker
>     [_] Mail order
>     [_] Discount store
>     [_] Government surplus
>     [_] Classified
>
>     6. Please indicate how you became aware of the
>     McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
>     [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
>     [_] Store display
>     [_] Espionage
>     [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
>     [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
>     [_] Was attacked by one
>
>     7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that
>     most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell
>     Douglas product:
>     [_] Style / appearance
>     [_] Speed / maneuverability
>     [_] Price / value
>     [_] Comfort / convenience
>     [_] Kickback / bribe
>     [_] Recommended by salesperson
>     [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
>     [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
>     [_] Backroom politics
>     [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
>     8. Please indicate the location(s) where this
>     product will be used:
>     [_] North America
>     [_] Iraq
>     [_] Iraq
>     [_] Aircraft carrier
>     [_] Iraq
>     [_] Europe
>     [_] Iraq
>     [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
>     [_] Iraq
>     [_] Africa
>     [_] Iraq
>     [_] Asia / Far East
>     [_] Iraq
>     [_] Misc. Third World countries
>     [_] Iraq
>     [_] Classified
>     [_] Iraq
>
>     9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend
>     to purchase in the near future:
>     [_] Color TV
>     [_] VCR
>     [_] ICBM
>     [_] Killer Satellite
>     [_] CD Player
>     [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
>     [_] Space Shuttle
>     [_] Home Computer
>     [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
>     10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
>     (Indicate all that apply:)
>     [_] Communist / Socialist
>     [_] Terrorist
>     [_] Crazed
>     [_] Neutral
>     [_] Democratic
>     [_] Dictatorship
>     [_] Corrupt
>     [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
>     11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>     [_] Deficit spending
>     [_] Cash
>     [_] Suitcases of cocaine
>     [_] Oil revenues
>     [_] Personal check
>     [_] Credit card
>     [_] Ransom money
>     [_] Travelers check
>
>     12. Your occupation:
>     [_] Homemaker
>     [_] Sales / marketing
>     [_] Revolutionary
>     [_] Clerical
>     [_] Mercenary
>     [_] Tyrant
>     [_] Middle management
>     [_] Eccentric billionaire
>     [_] Defense Minister / General
>     [_] Retired
>     [_] Student
>
>     13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate
>     the interests an activities in which you & your spouse enjoy
>     participating on a regular basis:
>     [_] Golf
>     [_] Boating / sailing
>     [_] Sabotage
>     [_] Running / jogging
>     [_] Propaganda / misinformation
>     [_] Destabilization / overthrow
>     [_] Gardening
>     [_] Crafts
>     [_] Black market / smuggling
>     [_] Collectibles / collections
>     [_] Watching sports on TV
>     [_] Wines
>     [_] Interrogation / torture
>     [_] Household pets
>     [_] Crushing rebellions
>     [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
>     [_] Fashion clothing
>     [_] Border disputes
>     [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
>     Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
>     questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that
>     will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as
>     well as allowing you to receive mailings & special offers from
>     other companies, governments, extremist groups & mysterious
>     consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be
>     registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
>     Sweepstakes!
>
>     Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please
>     write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department
>     Military, Aerospace Division.
>
>     IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the
>     individual addressee(s) named above & may contain information
>     that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly
>     sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or
>     irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
>     recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this
>     email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and
>     constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word
>     absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere
>     other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or
>     grammatical use & may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the
>     transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is
>     living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an
>     overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that
>     there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning
>     backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.
>     However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself &
>     your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you & your
>     pets. If you have received this email in error, please add some
>     nutmeg & egg whites, whisk & place in a warm oven for 40
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