I didnt fancy crapping on some guys thread in GD, so here goes here instead.
Its odd that so many more people are atheists or other nowadays, yet marriage is as popular as ever.
The way I see it is people just accept it as the norm despite its massively religious meaning, under the eyes of god and all that, so if you dont believe in god, then why are you even doing it?
Because it also has legal implications.
Marriage isnt only a religious institution and hasnt been for a long time. It is in the legal system too. Really its a contract, the religious part may have originally been it but it now goes beyond that. An unmarried partner doesnt have the same legal rights that a married one does, especially if the other person dies.
Its only had a religious meaning since the Council of Trent in the mid-sixteenth century when the church decided that a marriage wasnt valid unless it was performed by a priest, primarily because this turned marriage which, until that point, had been a purely contractual affair, into a nice little money spinner for the church which had hugely influential powers at the time both in law and over the general opinion of the masses.
Marriage has existed long before any of the modern churches, originally as a contract between two families.
Now, like Christmas, any religious connotation is purely voluntary. My wife and I got married because we are very much in love and its just a nice thing to do. There was exactly zero religious overtones to the ceremony, which was purely secular.
Marriage now also confers certain benefits regarding taxation etc, rights when you are dead/dying for your partner and also certain rights should you split up.
Its also a great excuse for a party.
Why do many atheists use the cuss "For gods sake!" for that matter :P
marriage must have been a womans invention.. even down to the divorce & awarded them everything.
Partly it was men who didnt fancy looking after other blokes kids. It also helped prevent issue over who could have a relationship with who. Incredibly important issues in small communities.
Quote from: zpyderWhy do many atheists use the cuss "For gods sake!" for that matter :P
Force of Habit/prevailing culture I guess. When speaking English I try to say Gosh instead, but Japanese has so many better ones.
Quote from: zpyderWhy do many atheists use the cuss "For gods sake!" for that matter :P
I try not to take anyones Lords name in vain and instead opt to use more vulgar language :yarr:
You can always use Gordon Bennett instead.
You never know what religious fanatic is standing behind you with a knife, gun and pack of explosives :tinhat:
Some good points guys, cheers for that, still not my cuppa tea mind :nana:
Quote from: GoblinIts only had a religious meaning since the Council of Trent...
Completely agree. Ive always found it funny that traditional Shinto ceremonies are being largely abandoned in favor of white weddings.
More pomp and circumstance I suppose, or a result of pick & mix cultural blending.
Marriage is also a good way of getting free stuff! ...presents in other words! :yarr:
Call me cynical but thats what always crosses my mind when I get a invite to one and the wedding present list is produced! :disappointed:
Quote from: ShaunMarriage is also a good way of getting free stuff! ...presents in other words! :yarr:
Call me cynical but thats what always crosses my mind when I get a invite to one and the wedding present list is produced! :disappointed:
for the average wedding it would be a full order of magnitude cheaper to just buy the gifts yourself.
acording to my Fiancees wedding magazines, the average wedding currently costs ~£25 grand and the average total value of gifts given is £2500.
Its silly. A step cousin was stating how her fiancee couldnt believe how expensive it is, with the example of the photographer costing £500.
Itd be cheaper and much more memorable to spend half that on disposable cameras for all the guests to take snaps throughout the ceremony etc. Id reckon thered be quite a few high quality shots as no doubt on top of the £500 for the "professional" itd cost ££ per photo they want printed afterwards!
Weddings are only expensive if you want them to be, theres plenty of ways to budget or economise without losing out, the problem is a lot of couples wont compromise and suffer for it just to make the big day extra special. Frankly Id rather not waste the money and lose sleep over it, a lot of people dont seem to actually enjoy the day becuase they are stressing over everything going well.
The problem with wedding photographers too these days is that a lot of them are simply amateurs with a few nice lenses and no real idea of how to properly shoot crowd scenes and capture the moment type stuff. Any Tom, Dick or Harry with a dSLR can be a photographer these days. Thankfully some of my friends are actual photographers and work with them so I would get a friend of a friend to do pro snaps and do one of the disposable camera deals as well.
Id rather spent all the money on good food and buying/renting a nice dress to please the new missus, the rest would go towards things that matter beyond the day like the house, etc :yarr:
Quote from: zpyderIts silly. A step cousin was stating how her fiancee couldnt believe how expensive it is, with the example of the photographer costing £500.
Itd be cheaper and much more memorable to spend half that on disposable cameras for all the guests to take snaps throughout the ceremony etc. Id reckon thered be quite a few high quality shots as no doubt on top of the £500 for the "professional" itd cost ££ per photo they want printed afterwards!
and for £500 shed better be feeling lucky, I didnt see a single one under £900 I would actually hire.
I reckon I could call myself a wedding photographer and charge myself out at £500 without the slightest fear that I wasnt up to the standard of the others charging that rate. £500 basically buys you a guy with a dSLR. If you want a photographer, think more like £1200-1500.
Its all about what matters to the couple in question
Im kinda hoping if I go I can take just a couple of decent shots that might rival the photographer, just to wind them up ;)
Two of my mates got married in the last couple of years, one went all in, 20k, instruments being played, fancy place booked out with multiple flavour chocolate fountains.
The other went to the registry office literally opposite my place of work, then went to the pub where he had hired the upstairs out and had selected the beer.
Both equally as good imo, yet couldnt be further apart expense wise, the people make it, not the place.
Quote from: matt5cottBoth equally as good imo, yet couldnt be further apart expense wise, the people make it, not the place.
WELL SAID THAT MAN!!
Weddings are ridiculous affairs nowadays. I personally cant stand church ceremony nor christian hypocrisy. A piece of paper, a few pints with my favourite people in the world and a wife to love me long time would tick all the marriage boxes for me...
Quote from: MongooseQuote from: ShaunMarriage is also a good way of getting free stuff! ...presents in other words! :yarr:
Call me cynical but thats what always crosses my mind when I get a invite to one and the wedding present list is produced! :disappointed:
for the average wedding it would be a full order of magnitude cheaper to just buy the gifts yourself.
acording to my Fiancees wedding magazines, the average wedding currently costs ~£25 grand and the average total value of gifts given is £2500.
...but the bride's father pays for it if you do it right! :P Pretty sure at 25 grand a pop I wouldnt know as many people as I do that have been married 2 or 3 times tbh!
Don't fall for your Fiancées cunning plan its sounds like a trap to me!
Quote from: matt5cottTwo of my mates got married in the last couple of years, one went all in, 20k, instruments being played, fancy place booked out with multiple flavour chocolate fountains.
The other went to the registry office literally opposite my place of work, then went to the pub where he had hired the upstairs out and had selected the beer.
Both equally as good imo, yet couldnt be further apart expense wise, the people make it, not the place.
Pretty much the same here.
My cousin got married to the tune of £15,000. All the trimmings. Divorced two years later - 15 years on and hes
still paying for it. :rofl:
Ive been happily married 17 years now. £35 Registry job. Cheers, easy! :rock:
Thing is; the media and c*nts like Jordan perpetuate the myth that marriage should be a flash affair in order to be valid. Clearly, it doesnt.
:)
Quote from: EagleQuote from: matt5cottTwo of my mates got married in the last couple of years, one went all in, 20k, instruments being played, fancy place booked out with multiple flavour chocolate fountains.
The other went to the registry office literally opposite my place of work, then went to the pub where he had hired the upstairs out and had selected the beer.
Both equally as good imo, yet couldnt be further apart expense wise, the people make it, not the place.
Pretty much the same here.
My cousin got married to the tune of £15,000. All the trimmings. Divorced two years later - 15 years on and hes still paying for it. :rofl:
Ive been happily married 17 years now. £35 Registry job. Cheers, easy! :rock:
Thing is; the media and c*nts like Jordan perpetuate the myth that marriage should be a flash affair in order to be valid. Clearly, it doesnt.
:)
I always had hopes that one day youd get with me.
But now I find out youre married :(
Once got asked did i believe in sex before marriage & of course i replied "Instead off actually" ^^
Were trying to keep the budget low;
~£1500 wedding & party, we got an awesome location.
£1200 engagement ring I can pay cash for, were getting the one she likes not the most expensive thing we can put on a card.
£700 wedding rings, again ones we both like.
then £1000 other stuff.
I am not paying some twat £900 to take photos.
Im a twat and Id only charge $700
Quote from: zpyderIts silly. A step cousin was stating how her fiancee couldnt believe how expensive it is, with the example of the photographer costing £500.
My Niece got married, for the 3rd time, earlier this year. I and my two brothers took our cameras and photographed the event. She got a load of good pics, as good as a pro would supply, to remember the day and it cost them nothing.
Quote from: GoblinNow, like Christmas, any religious connotation is purely voluntary. My wife and I got married because we are very much in love and its just a nice thing to do. There was exactly zero religious overtones to the ceremony, which was purely secular.
I went to a humanist ceremony recently and thought it was really well done too.
Though modern marriage in UK law still has religious (specifically Christian) roots and restrictions even if you chose to go for a secular ceremony.
A gay couple cant marry but are restricted to a civil partnership a muslim cant legally marry another one woman whilst he still has a wife from a previous marriage.
The current rules are based on Christian values and IMO should be modernised - I dont see why marriage has to be strictly between people of the opposite sex nor does it necessarily have to be a one to one relationship.
The thing that gets me is, if you try and book a venue for a party, its £xxx. Mention the word "Wedding" and its suddenly £xxxx
Everyones on the take when it comes to Weddings.
Quote from: zpyderIts silly. A step cousin was stating how her fiancee couldnt believe how expensive it is, with the example of the photographer costing £500.
Itd be cheaper and much more memorable to spend half that on disposable cameras for all the guests to take snaps throughout the ceremony etc. Id reckon thered be quite a few high quality shots as no doubt on top of the £500 for the "professional" itd cost ££ per photo they want printed afterwards!
£500 is dirt cheap. I wouldnt get out of bed for any less than £1500 for a wedding - and thats just me throwing a CD at you.
What makes me laugh is couples who say that the photographer was expensive at £400-£500 when the daft cnuts are quite happy to pay nigh-on £1000 for flowers - which last all of
one day.
Photographic memories last a lifetime, bitches - put your hands in your pockets!!!
:mutley:
I paid £1300 for the most basic service from a photographer, 4 hours of photos on a CD, and Im so glad I did. It was one of the best uses of money from the wedding. So happy with the results.
I generally think all the extras or additional services are pretty overpriced.
Once you realise how long a good photographer will spend post processing and add that to the time they spend getting to and from your wedding and at it the prices seem far more reasonable.
Weddings FTW!
Quote from: spudWere trying to keep the budget low;
~£1500 wedding & party, we got an awesome location.
£1200 engagement ring I can pay cash for, were getting the one she likes not the most expensive thing we can put on a card.
£700 wedding rings, again ones we both like.
then £1000 other stuff.
I am not paying some twat £900 to take photos.
so when is it ?
I vote we crash it and turn it into a tekparty ?
Spud tells me its in 12months time in somerset. Hed love to invite a few of you and might well do but the budget is very tight..
Quote from: sexytwOnce you realise how long a good photographer will spend post processing and add that to the time they spend getting to and from your wedding and at it the prices seem far more reasonable.
Thats what most people dont see - the time spent after the wedding in post-process. Its usually days and days worth.
Florists are the rip-off.
Quote from: EagleQuote from: sexytwOnce you realise how long a good photographer will spend post processing and add that to the time they spend getting to and from your wedding and at it the prices seem far more reasonable.
Thats what most people dont see - the time spent after the wedding in post-process. Its usually days and days worth.
Florists are the rip-off.
agree, Ive only done one and am no photoshop expert so it could probably be done faster but total time was on the order of 2 weeks and I was never 100% happy with all the photos.
just been reading this thread, anyone been watching big fat gypsy weddings? the dresses those girls wear are ridonkulous!!
being an atheist myself, i'd have my wedding in a really nice garden at a hotel or something, nothing too fancy though, get one of my mates ordained on the internet to do a basic, non-religious ceremony, have fake flowers so they last longer, im having my dad make the cake, have another mate take the pics but the only thing i'll spend a fair amount on would be my dress cos i want a black one. that would be my perfect wedding.
Having been through the process, It's my opinion that everyone hears "Chi-ching!!!" when you say Wedding.
If you're organising a wedding, when booking venues and services...don't say wedding. I bet you save a packet.
We were lucky, we had a Girl Guide centre to use for a donation, and we had large marquee's.
Quote from: soopahfly on January 29, 2011, 23:02:20 PM
and we had large marquee's.
aka a spare pair of the mother in laws knickers
:D
Quote from: soopahfly on January 29, 2011, 23:02:20 PM
Having been through the process, It's my opinion that everyone hears "Chi-ching!!!" when you say Wedding.
If you're organising a wedding, when booking venues and services...don't say wedding. I bet you save a packet.
We were lucky, we had a Girl Guide centre to use for a donation, and we had large marquee's.
It was easily one of the nicest and most genuine weddings I've ever been to as well :cheers: Great food and all very tastefully and thoughtfully done, no one could guess it was 'on a budget' if thats the case!
Mines April 28th next year. Been lucky that her dad has paid for 60%, I'm saving up for the other 40%. It is a lot of money, but I'm over the moon excited, happy to spend the cash and absolutely can't wait! :)
Quote from: Clock'd 0Ne on January 29, 2011, 23:28:05 PM
Quote from: soopahfly on January 29, 2011, 23:02:20 PM
Having been through the process, It's my opinion that everyone hears "Chi-ching!!!" when you say Wedding.
If you're organising a wedding, when booking venues and services...don't say wedding. I bet you save a packet.
We were lucky, we had a Girl Guide centre to use for a donation, and we had large marquee's.
It was easily one of the nicest and most genuine weddings I've ever been to as well :cheers: Great food and all very tastefully and thoughtfully done, no one could guess it was 'on a budget' if thats the case!
When you see marquee's you think budget. It was easily as much as most venues at the end of it all.
I wouldn't mind going on 'Don't Tell The Bride'. So I wouldn't get any say in it, and it'd be 2 weeks to prepare (I think) but the man gets about £12k for it which surprisingly can go a really long way.
I'm really indecisive so someone else planning it would make it so much easier (:
Quote from: Cornholio on January 29, 2011, 22:15:26 PM
just been reading this thread, anyone been watching big fat gypsy weddings? the dresses those girls wear are ridonkulous!!
Yup - tacky as.....
The whole culture is ridicules tbh... taking girls out of school at 11. 50% of gypsy wives (apparently) suffering domestic abuse. Perhaps some people have romantic notions of wooden horse drawn caravans but this show seems to be documenting a bunch of chavs who happen to live in caravans.
Quote from: Dave on February 01, 2011, 23:30:36 PM
taking girls out of school at 11. 50% of gypsy wives (apparently) suffering domestic abuse.
well they should get the f**king dinner ready on time.
Quote from: Eggtastico on February 02, 2011, 10:36:40 AM
Quote from: Dave on February 01, 2011, 23:30:36 PM
taking girls out of school at 11. 50% of gypsy wives (apparently) suffering domestic abuse.
well they should get the f**king dinner ready on time.
:thumbdown:
I thought that was a bit harsh too.
At 16 they only need to be good at making sandwiches.
Quote from: Clock'd 0Ne on February 02, 2011, 11:34:06 AM
I thought that was a bit harsh too.
At 16 they only need to be good at making sandwiches.
You couldn't be more wrong.
Everyone knows that the sandwich is clearly the man's domain, if you get anyone else to do it for you you risk the whole bread to filling ratio being completely askew.
That's a good point actually, but isn't this a great reason to train them from a young age? If we took them out of school aged 11 to learn how to make decent sandwiches the world would be a better place - I've yet to find a woman that truly understands how a good tri-meat is constructed. That's one for Speaker's Corner I reckon :lol:
Quote from: Clock'd 0Ne on February 02, 2011, 12:23:30 PM
That's a good point actually, but isn't this a great reason to train them from a young age? If we took them out of school aged 11 to learn how to make decent sandwiches the world would be a better place - I've yet to find a woman that truly understands how a good tri-meat is constructed. That's one for Speaker's Corner I reckon :lol:
My fiancée used to work at a sandwich shop to pay her way through 6th form and she does make a mean manwich in all fairness. Because of this I'm not sure leaving school early is the answer. What I think this does demonstrate is the need for some established syllabus for sandwich making and mandatory evening classes for the fairer sex not already employed in the catering trade?
Men can go make their own god damned sandwich.
Quote from: Beanissocoollike on February 03, 2011, 23:32:32 PM
Men can go make their own god damned sandwich.
Why keep a dog and bark yourself?
Quote from: Beanissocoollike on February 03, 2011, 23:32:32 PM
Men can go make their own god damned sandwich.
I don't know that I could trust you to make a decent bacon and egg sandwich at the weekend anyway... You still have some way to go to prove yourself in the kitchen :yarr:
Quote from: Clock'd 0Ne on February 03, 2011, 23:41:51 PM
I don't know that I could trust you to make a decent bacon and egg sandwich at the weekend anyway... You still have some way to go to prove yourself in the kitchen :yarr:
You know I am the lasagne queen at least!
And I wouldn't want to make you a bacon sammich anyway, the smell would make me feel ill