It all begins with me running into Omar, the guy who owns the local
falafeleria, at the corner store. I asked him how his falafel was, and
he said, "its the most delicious and moist that youll ever have,
like my grandmothers, with fava beans." Who wouldnt want a sandwich
after hearing that?

So tonight, I remember the falafel, the perfect food to sate my
voracious hunger, and I eagerly walk over to the place. If Id had a
visible thought bubble, it would have been filled with falafels and
tahini sauce. Hipster chick with optional facial ventilation takes my
order and says itll be a few minutes as were making tabuleh, which
they put in the sandwich. I give her my number to call when theyre
done, as Im across  the street.

Forty five minutes pass. Tabouleh can be made in five minutes. So I
walk over a little pissed that I put a f*cking dollar in her tip jar
the first time. Sure enough, the sandwich was done. I was happy
enough, as I was about to have falafel.

Opened it up when I got home, and saw no tabuleh, and worst of all no
tahini sauce. What kind of sadist would eat falafels without tahini
sauce? I try one dry, and it was horrid and hard all the way through.
Omar must have really loved his grandmother. I look in the bag in
desperation and find a little container. YES, open it and taste--its
bloody Sysco generic ranch dressing.

So Im hungry, and pour the crap on anyway, as I dont want to choke
on dry falafels. Dry patty shaped falafels to boot, when they should
be round. And with the greasy bread, its not horrible. Just not
right. When Im about to finish, I think, hey, she charged me near six
bucks for this damn thing. She owes me a dollar and the sandwich
sucks.

Feeling really bloaty, I walk across the street indignant and fuming,
and of course Im really nice, but I get my 92c back. Omar wasnt
there, and theyre neighbors, so its not like I want to get "the
look" next time Im in for a gyros, not to mention that it would be
pretty easy to hide some snot or semen due to the nature of the sauce.

Heres the dilemma: should I tell Omar that his grandmothers falafel
sucks big time? I dont know much about Egyptian tradition, but I
dont want a ululating posse meeting me at the house, if you catch my
drift. Perhaps I should just keep quiet.

Id write off the place - its another lost customer after all. No need to tell him how sh*te the food is.

I too would simply locate another outlet of tasty late night snack food

I cant write Mr. "for you a medium is a large!" Omar off. I think that ventilady is working a scam on the nights when he has her in charge. Shes a freak and drives an Isuzu Rodeo with her three initials in bathing sponges netted to the hood of her car.

Quote"its the most delicious and moist that youll ever have,
like my grandmothers, with fava beans."

I take it you didnt ask "Your gandmothers what?"

Quote from: Porch Monkey

Quote"its the most delicious and moist that youll ever have,
like my grandmothers, with fava beans."

I take it you didnt ask "Your gandmothers what?"

No, but I like his grandmothers with fava beans...and a nice chianti.

lol...indeed dry and tough.

Quote from: maximusotterdrives an Isuzu Rodeo

proof if it were needed

nevertheless Porch Monkey has a point, by this time I imagine his Grandmothers are both dry and tough.

Quote from: maximusotter

Quote from: Porch Monkey

Quote"its the most delicious and moist that youll ever have,
like my grandmothers, with fava beans."

I take it you didnt ask "Your gandmothers what?"

No, but I like his grandmothers with fava beans...and a nice chianti.

Could we have a new forum section = "The Nashville Blog"?  

Greg, how petty, its only one reality based satirical bit. Let a man live a little. Watch out or Ill post, "OMG, I think the newspaper guy likes me" and "Why is it that I always run out of dental floss on days like this?!".

Quote from: maximusotter

Quote from: Porch Monkey

Quote"its the most delicious and moist that youll ever have,
like my grandmothers, with fava beans."

I take it you didnt ask "Your gandmothers what?"

No, but I liked his grandmothers liver with fava beans...and a nice chianti.  /sucking sound

Corrected it for ya