Detective programmes should f**k off and die.



Detective TV show script:

Opening scene. Dead body is discovered.  Cops show up and take pix. 

Detective Smart Arse and Detective Twat show up. 

D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.
D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.
D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.
D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.
D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.
D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.
D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.
D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.
D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.
D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.
D. SA: Asks a question.
Cops answer.

Change scene to victim's mother's uncle's brother's boyfriend's sister. 

D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.

D. SA and D. Twat discuss case. 
Insert generic cop phrases regarding gut feelings and lack of evidence. Discuss VMUBBS's history of mental illness/domestic abuse/alcohol problems.

D. SA asks a question.
D. Twat answers and asks a question.
D. SA answers and asks a question.
D. Twat answers and asks a question.
D. SA answers and asks a question.
D. Twat answers and asks a question.
D. SA answers and asks a question.
D. Twat answers and asks a question.
D. SA answers and asks a question.
D. Twat answers and asks a question.
D. SA answers and asks a question.
D. Twat answers and asks a question.
D. SA answers and asks a question.
D. Twat answers and asks a question.
D. SA answers and asks a question.
D. Twat answers and asks a question.
D. SA answers and asks a question.
D. Twat answers and asks a question.
D. SA answers and asks a question.


Change scene to interview room. 

D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers.
D. Twat: Asks a question.
VMUBBS answers and starts to crack.
D. Twat starts blinking lots to show emotion.
VMUBBS proper cracks.

Roll credits. 

Very true! However, this is now a Caruso thread:

why is he putting sunglasses on on top of sunglasses in the last pic?

It's all part of the joke 

Agree with the thread, I don't watch any of this sh*t, I presume they have it on loop to entertain the chimps at twycross zoo.