Confidence. First you have to realize you are good enough and then go for it. It doesnt matter if you fail regularly cause every so often you will meet with a success and the failures all go down to training.

Well i only spotted her today and since it was from across the room its unlikely she saw me.. which is great as im looking particulalrly awful today lol

did something new with my hair and iv not had much luck.

Will see how things go but since shes a temp she could be gone any time.. no pressure tho eh

har bloody har

The Nudity Buffer
The nudity buffer is a term that describes the time span between seeing an attractive woman and imagining her naked.

typically 5 minutes.

Of course theres also the melty man to worry about, and the sock gap.

and ditch the vauxhalls

If its really a problem there are openers for conversations...  You could read a couple of books.  IIRC theyre called something like:
  * the professional bachelor
  * The game  (the army boys use that one a lot)

They basically come down to being able to talk to anyone and when you can comfortably do that then theres no huge leap to doing it to people you find attractive.  I got introduced to it not for picking up girls but for meeting people when travelling around the world on your own.  Really handy to be able to walk into a room where you know noone, have a few beers and a laugh with strangers and leave having met a few new people.

I seem to remember there was a show on tv that covered the guy who wrote the game a while back that got uploaded onto youtube.  I think they ended up practicing on people they didnt find attractive/intimidated by (i.e. grannies at a bingo) and then they just ported it over to clubs, bars etc.


It really is about confidence.  People have different levels of it but there are ways you can boost it if youre not naturally that way.  Ive not really suffered from it (if anything Im probably over confident and need to shut the f**k up more often than not lol) but I did recommend the book to a few mates who used to need a wingman everytime they wanted to speak to someone - they got LOADS better quickly and it meant I could spend more time with my pint  One thing tho - if you do follow the stuff in the game, another guy whos read it will be able to spot you doing it a mile off.  Its actually funny to look around bars and see people using it


Example: positive reinforcement.  When youre talking to a girl touch her arm or tap the table gently or something whenever shes talking about something funny/enjoyable/happy memory.  After a while shes subconciously attuned to associating the action with the feeling.  Then after a while you switch it - whenever you suggest something to do or tell a joke/story you do the action.  Subconciously shell be more inclined to react favourably.  This is an easy one to spot if you know what to look for and funny as hell once you can spot them.


Example 2: Opener to a random person in a bar.
You: "Do you want to play a game?  All you have to do is get 5 questions wrong.  Theres no trick questions like is there a god, or anything like that.  Id say whats your name and youd say Bill Gates.  Ill bet you a drink and a kiss.  Want to play?".
Other: "Erm ok,  (possibly: not so sure about the kiss, whatever)"
You: "ok, question 1 - where are you from?
Other: "Afghanistan"
You: "where are we now?"
Other: "In a tent"
You: "lol ok - erm what colour is the sky?"
Other: "red"
You: "err....  *look a bit confused* How many questions was that?"
Other "950"
You: "Dammit!  Youve played this before havent you?"
Other: "Ha ha - no"
You: "Got you on the 5th question!"

Thats one of a million examples but you win no matter what.  Someone dumb will tell you how many questions you asked in which case you win anyway.  Others will do it as above in which case you win.  If you lose and they get the last question wrong you still have to buy a drink/kiss but youre around for the next drink anyway which was kind of the point in the first place.  Usually youd let them off with te drink and take a kiss on the cheek or something.  Either way youve entertained them, been chatting, around for the next drink, whatever.  A couple of things like that as openers and you can autopilot the first 5-10 mins of a conversation without even having to think of things to say, etc.


While were on the topic... Theres a thing called swarming.  If you walk up to a random girl in a group and start talking to her, her friends will pull her away out of instinct.  So you cant just walk up and talk to one.  Generally pick one of the other girls and then engage the rest of the group.  Generally the theory goes you agree with the one you like each time but ask/speak to them all.


It sounds a little calculated but its very handy to be able to do lots of this stuff off the top of your head with guys/girls/peoples parents/whoever at the drop of a hat.  If you can comfortably engage a couple of people for a minute or so without having to stumble for things to say then theyll usually chat to you for the rest of the night and remember you well.

I find the hardest bit is the initial approach. getting a convsation started is easy but you need to find a reason to go over there and talk to her first.